I am a Fop

I AM A FOP. (noun \ˈfäp\  a man who is devoted to or vain about his appearance or dress)
I just knew its definition today in my word challenge (Vocabulary) book. To be completely honest, the word's  definition stabbed me. I can see myself in it.

I am insecure with my appearance to the public eye. I love fashion! I am a self-proclaimed model and an bombastic trend setter! I criticize people's looks and I am jealous to those look comely and FASHIONABLE. I desire clothes that would make the best impression on everyone. I am conscious of my unattractive attitude although i cant seem to find any way to stop myself. Vanity is like drug to me and no drugstore nearby can cure my addiction. I could see myself as Athena who hated Aphrodite for being the most beautiful goddess. Yes, I wanted to be the best in whatever category you put me and YES, I AM AN OVER ACHIEVER. I act humble around people and unfortunately, it's working. I want to regret the event in my life that mold me into this but i don't.

Deflowering myself is not my objective especially when writing a blog post so It does not end here.

Life made me realize things. First, that I shall think that vanity is a gift (not a curse) but when over-dozed, it hurts slowly and all at once. Second, "Keep Calm and Appreciate". Third, that with the gazillion (and still counting) population our world has, we couldn't tell that we are the best among all of them. Let alone can gauge our rank from the majority. Fourth, that my achievements mold me and these are things normal people don't regret because before achieving a certain thing, we first dreamed about it. I can control  the effects but instead, I let it own me.

My next blog post would be my attempt to overhaul. I don't have a plan yet, but i know it is imminent.

Baby Steps

I know it's ugly compare to the other pictures you see in sensational fashion blogs. Personally, It's not this bad. But with my meager digital camera and cameraman-less, it turned out this worse. It turned out better than i imagined though or perhaps my expectations were too low. So I edited it instead and TADA! This will slowly improve, i promise but for now, endure it. I just started anyway :) 

Skirt: Dorothy Perkins
Necklace: Forever 21
Glasses: Ray Ban

Starstruck

Sayyyy, who is that guy over thur?

Hihi, yes he is josh hutcherson! and true, he is peeta's alter ego.

After reading the hunger games, I completely admired Peeta but not in the sense of day dreaming about him 24/7. I rather let him stick to katniss that anyone else. I almost cried at THG's ending. I just love him throughout the whole trilogy.

Obviously I am a THG fan. I watched their interviews before even watching the movie itself. I balked myself from watching the movie because apparently i read the book after the release of the movie. Not because I knew it just then but I was busy with school and it's not my #1 priority.. *cough* *cough* was... lol kidding, still not. I also saw film cut scenes and the trailer let alone the fan made ones ;)

But you know what stunned me the most? The scene of Ceasar's first interview with peeta. The breaking of the ice part. Josh just looked really charming and cute in that scene. So I searched Josh Hutcherson google photos in hopes to see more scintillating photos. (whoops, i see pictures of vanessa hudgens) YOU KNOW WHAT, JOSH IS MY CELEB CRUSH BEFORE, in the firehouse dog!!! I loved him there. What a coincidence, but now just woah, big transformation. From Journey 1 to Journey 2. Oh sweet baby jee

Now.. Here I am, attracted to him. He is like the boy next door type. I like his fat-brawny proportioned body and I love how he claims to be like Peeta. I actually believe it :)) AND NO, I AM NOT ADDICTED TO HIM, I JUST APPRECIATE HIS LOOKS. THAT'S ALL. I DONT HAVE AN ALTAR MADE FOR HIM NOT EVEN A SINGLE POSTER and I don't plan in keeping one. I'm not fond of posters unless it is me on it.

In addtion, i cant enumerate any of his assets beside that ☝ but he is one of the SUPER FEW celebrity crushes I had since birth. Perhaps 4th. Phew, mostly i have fictional character crushes but this is just PHEW. Josh Hutcher and Peeta Mellark at the same time. Woah.

Forte

So it's march 27! Few years ago, it's the last day of school. Fortunately this year, it's been almost a week since summer started. Which means I am very jubilant. Let alone, very chill! My summer schedule for march is blogging, organizing myself (including; room, clothes and everything else) and (phew!) studying. So yeah, i'm a bit the nerdy-erdy type but to assuage the geeky impression, i study because i want to pass ACET (ateneo college entrance exam). Gosh, i badly want too. Since gradeschool, i want to study there. It totally fits me because i have a very athenian-like attitude. 

 Sadly, while i was gathering pieces of information about admu. The programs were a turn-off. For me though. *sigh* The programs offered were sooo limited. I was able to choose some (Management Engineering, Humanities, BFA major in information design, and blehh). I never considered Journalism because i have a bad grammar. What makes me more disappointed  is that i dont even know what I specifically want to be. 

©  tumblr

I wanted to be fashion designer (anything that concerns fashion) because I'm a attached to it, I blog about it, I am insecure about it and most especially i am updated to it. I love arts although my family doesn't seem to see my talent and hobby as a living. 

Caused by my anxiety of disappointing my parents, i excelled in major subjects such as Math and English (I never considered science as a major subject because I have a deep and serious antipathy to it). My parents are unlike me. For them, arts has nothing to say to intellectual knowledge. Meaning, it's less fundamental to the society. Moreover, I am not certain about my fashion niche. I can't fathom the source of my penchant for fashion. I'm not also sure if it's just a habit or really my forte. But it's impossible to be just a habit because, c'mon, BLOGGING ABOUT IT (http://www.headsuphigh.tumblr.com) -.- No way, jose. I completely fancy it. It even serves as my stress reliever.

The only design school i know is CSB. CSB = HUGE DISAPPOINTMENT for my parents.

So here's my plan: I'll choose a program major in math (Management Eng'r) and make it as the bedrock of my first career, when I am already successful and independent, i will enroll in SOFA and finally do something that regards fashion ;)

oh and by the way.. the creepy ol' person in the picture is me :) dont be scared haha

Summer-Fun Tactics

Apparently, It's summer for me already. Hooray! After the few first days of march (summer month), i have noticed an instantaneous "tradition" every summer.

- dresses
- denim short shorts
- shades
- sandals
- shaul
- see-thru
- FLORAL EVERYTHING
- bright nail polish

I think i participate to some but sometimes it kills me to see the same thing all the time. Nevertheless, it's been a habit to paint my nails every summer because colored nails are never allowed in my school

I chose purple or from my limited collection, the best for my mood was purple. 

It was only after painting it, i noticed that my nail color matched my glasses. It actually looked nice despite the repeating of colors

(camera: CASIO EXILIM 4 Mp)

my shooting gadget is ghetto, forgive. I used the light to focus it.

Humanity

Written on the back of my dad's shirt. Source of guilt..

Hipsters

I've been hearing this word a lot since summer. Off course, I know what it meant. I am huge fan of Hipsters. Although, I never got updated in any of their stuff. I want to be like them because I find their frolics cool but I just can’t ride with 'em. Sucks to be me, I know.

 Apparently, after years of obscure presence and phenomenal capers, their presence starts to be mediocre. Some people start to act like “Hipsters” because they are trendy. This pessimistic outlook of things originated from a friend who is SO-SO NOT A HIPSTER. Maybe, he can play the guitar but hell no, he’s far from the sensational hipsters but that does not make me loathe him. I just abhor his desperate aim to be fashionable but unreal.

Hipsters are usually label as musicians, country kid, street person, skaters or sometimes intense smokers. In my perspective, they are those who are deviant. Hipsters enjoy simple things and they’re very adventurous. They would like books, music and chill sceneries. They deviate themselves from ordinary. They don’t try to be different, they naturally are. They wouldn’t compete against low lives for popularity and think about things they want to think about. THEY DO WHAT THEY DO

Normally, they are the first ones to discover new stuff (music, clothes) but the norm never appreciates them, never tried anyway. It’s considerable because their advance peculiar discoveries are indistinct from the modern.  “Best explanation: People flow with the current”. I can’t blame them.

Btw, they’re mostly incorporated with hippies J I think..

I think of myself as one of them but I’m somehow oblivious with music so yeah, I’m still cool.