I AM A FOP. (noun \ˈfäp\ a man who is devoted to or vain about his appearance or dress)
I just knew its definition today in my word challenge (Vocabulary) book. To be completely honest, the word's definition stabbed me. I can see myself in it.
I am insecure with my appearance to the public eye. I love fashion! I am a self-proclaimed model and an bombastic trend setter! I criticize people's looks and I am jealous to those look comely and FASHIONABLE. I desire clothes that would make the best impression on everyone. I am conscious of my unattractive attitude although i cant seem to find any way to stop myself. Vanity is like drug to me and no drugstore nearby can cure my addiction. I could see myself as Athena who hated Aphrodite for being the most beautiful goddess. Yes, I wanted to be the best in whatever category you put me and YES, I AM AN OVER ACHIEVER. I act humble around people and unfortunately, it's working. I want to regret the event in my life that mold me into this but i don't.
Deflowering myself is not my objective especially when writing a blog post so It does not end here.
Life made me realize things. First, that I shall think that vanity is a gift (not a curse) but when over-dozed, it hurts slowly and all at once. Second, "Keep Calm and Appreciate". Third, that with the gazillion (and still counting) population our world has, we couldn't tell that we are the best among all of them. Let alone can gauge our rank from the majority. Fourth, that my achievements mold me and these are things normal people don't regret because before achieving a certain thing, we first dreamed about it. I can control the effects but instead, I let it own me.
